Furry Ghost story (Englisch - unfinished)


Mitglied seit
13 Jun 2010
Dies ist ne kleine, noch nicht vollendete Story von mir... Ich werd noch weiter machen. Will nur erstmal wissen wie ihr sie findet.

(bitte keine Hinweise auf die vielen Gramatikfehler^^ )

Dust and leaves whirled through the air and the sound of rubber scraping over asphalt filled the cold autumn wind. The door was opened and then slammed shut again. Shoe were gnashing on street shatter when the young Wolf walked over to the little shop.
“If you hadn’t forgotten the map at home we…”
“Oh, cut it off. I already brought up the car and paid the petrol bill!” the light grey/dark grey wolf sighted. He was a calm and mostly silent kind of guy but sitting in one small car with that all time nagging Gatorsnake Ryusuke for three hours was even to much for him to bear. Naydhuin, mostly addressed Nay walked over to that small typical British little shop. At the door he read the golden printed letters:

Jonathan Black


“Hmph!” he addressed the letters and pressed the door knob. A cheerful little wind chime announced his presence.
The voice sounded a bit hoarse and something in it sent shivers down his spine. He waited for a while but was still alone. So he looked about in the room. Old books were accurately arranged on the boards, some wonderfully and some poorly done paintings hang on the wall. The house was old but homey. Something caught his eyes. Right in between all this old stuff there hang a dream catcher. Walking over he reached out for it and touched it.
“Nice, isn’t it?”
Nay jumped a bit at the voice and turned around. At the other side of the desk stand a dog. He seemed to have emerged right out of a Victorian nightmare. He was tall and slim. His fur was dark and to complete the frightening image he wore a noble long black jacket and blood red scarf. He looked noble and scaring the same time. He had his hands fold into each other, Naydhuin, though better judgement, thought he looked like a perfect copy of one of those aristocratic vampires in one of those 30s movies.
“Erm. Yes it is. I just wonder. It seemed so misplaced here. Among… all this expensive goods”
“It was a present of a good friend. Hm. How may I help you Sir?”
Nay cleared his throat to get the slight fright out of it.
“Sadly I am not here to buy something. At least not today. I am searching for some information!”
“What do you need to know?” The large slim ghouly but friendly dog smiled.
“I’m… Erm. We… me and my pal are looking for Kumbartha Manor. You know how to get there from here? We know it must be close to this little village.”
Suddenly a dark cloud played around the eyes of the large Rottweiler and he lifted up his nose a bit, what made him look like even more aristocratic.
“Kumbartha Manor you say?”
“… Yes?” The whole behaviour of Mr Black made the lump in his stomach grow larger. The large dog towered over him and gave him the feeling to be smaller than he is. He stretched his long thin arm out and pointed out into the West.
“Just follow the street for another 8 miles then turn left. You can’t miss it. The road turns left only once. And there may be no car tracks. No one drives there. Never!”
Nay shivered a bit. Suddenly the Antiquarian lunged forth at him.
Nay gave a yelp and jumped out of the door and rushed over to the door. Ryusuke wasn’t even able to ask what had happened when the wolf already hit the gas and the tires screamed. If they had looked back they would have seen Jonathan Black standing in the door, laughing.
“Oh those tourists.”

It was a quiet place, not many passed the village so Jonathan took pleasure in scaring those tourists, sometimes more, sometimes less. However. The fun was soon over for him. Just 20 minutes later another car drove up to his shop and after he showed all the expensive and luxury goods to the young Unicorn and Tiger they asked for the Kumbartha Manor. Jonathan felt a little anger rise in him, however, he gave them the same instruction and sighed in relief when they left. Before the next car stopped at his shop he already switched the door sign from open to closed.

-Knock- Knock-
“Hello? Anyone there?” the big white tiger asked, looking through the door, but everything was empty, Jonathan Black had moved into the back rooms.
The white muscular tiger that wore a shirt and a black jacket knocked again, but still there was no answer.
“Hm. Okay. Well I still have my old map. Hope it helps.”
The large tiger went back to his old Rover and looked a last time at the shop. He was sure he had seen someone behind the windows when he arrived. He turned the radio on, took a look on the map and drove down the road, he almost missed the turnoff. He hit the brake and then followed the narrow path. Large, crippled trees lined the narrow road and he felt a bit like he was at the far end of the world. When he reached the top of the hill and looked down into the valley he stopped and gasped.

When the bus stopped only one person stepped out of it onto the empty market place of the small village. The small green gecko was carrying a much to large bag with him that someone might have wondered how he can lift it. But he seemed to have no problems with it. He looked at the road sign and mumbled to himself:
“Hm, still 12 miles to walk. Oh well!”
He looked at his clock and hoped he would arrive before the night falls. Thanks god he was prepared for the walk and was wearing stable boots. He looked up in the sky and thought to himself.
“Would be typical if it starts to rain now!”
The road was slightly muddy and he was glad that he wore those boots. As he sighed again he heard far behind himself the sound of a car approaching. He didn’t even dared to turn around and look or try to get the cars attention, he was sure that car would never drive his way. The more he was surprised as the car slowed down after passing him and then stopped a few meters away. A young human popped hi head out of the co-drivers window.
“Hey, going to Kumbartha Manor?!”
Keiran was taken aback by the question and didn’t answer at first.
“Hey, cat got your tongue? Hehe!”
“Erm, erm no. I mean. Yes. YES. I am heading to Kumbartha Manor!”
“Well then this must be your lucky day. I am going there too. Hop in, just clean off your boots before a bit!”
Keiran stepped a bit clumsy over to the car and sat into it, boots still outside. He took a tissue and cleaned off the mud as best as he could. Then he closed the door.
“Thanks a lot!”
“You aren’t here by car? Well it’s quite a way from the village into the valley.”
“I know. but I don’t have a car. I came by bus!”
The human nodded.
“I am Kare!”
“Keiran!” the Gecko smiled back a bit.
Kare started the car and drove further.
“You have ever been to Kumbartha Manor?” Kare seemed up to brake the silence.
“No. I have never been there before.”
“I wondered why Kehno invited us. I thought he is busy with being head of his corporation.”
“Yes. But I think it is the usual thing. Other people mostly do the work while he get’s the money!”
Kare looked at him shortly and Keiran thought he had said something wrong when the human suddenly started to laugh.
“Don’t tell him that. I bet he will not like to hear that!”
Keiran started to laugh along a bit. While they laughed the drove up a hill.
“Right behind the hill must be the Manor!” Kare said.
Then they saw it. Kare hit the brake and both stared down into the valley. What they saw there was something they never expected.
“What is that?” Keiran stuttered out.
What they saw was a giant manor. A twisted nightmare of gothic and dark stone. They knew that Kehno liked buildings like that but this was almost sick. It looked like it had cost a giant fortune to erect or at least buy it. The building with it’s several small towers and wide high windows was surrounded by a giant and somewhat creepy forrest.
“Homey… quite.. homey!” Keiran snapped out of his bad feelings by the voice Kare.
“He… hehe. Well, Kehno had a fascination for … buildings like that like forever!”
Kare nodded and they drove down toward the parking lot. When they arrived on that far to large parking lot they saw that five guys already were waiting there. They turned toward them when they parked.
“More guests!” the white tiger said as the Gecko and the human stepped out of the car. On instant Keiran felt a bit uncomfortable, there were at least six guys he never meet before, and he was not that kind of guy for whom it is easy to make new friends. However Kare took care about that Keiran won’t have any troubles introduce himself.
“Good evening. I am Kåre Kristensson and this here is... Keyran? No, Keiran!” He gestured toward the slightly taken aback Gecko.
“Well… Hello” Keiran said.
“Good evening to you too, I am Zareth Jace Tigerpaw but call me Zareth.” the large, muscular build white tiger announced and reached his big hand out to shake their hands.
“I am Charn and this is my comrade Hooves” the other smaller tiger pointed at himself and the white unicorn standing beside him. The Unicorn nodded.
“Hi!” he waved.
“I am Ryusuke!” the quite good worked out Gatorsnake shouted in and lifted his hand thumps up. “And this is… “ He looked to his side but the light grey wolf he arrived with was gone.
“Hey.. Nay!” He turned further around and spotted the young wolf standing in front of the big entrance. Naydhuin looked at the words above the big wooden double door, written in stone:

Terribilis est locus iste

“NAY!!” The wolf snapped out of his trance as Ryusuke shouted at him.
“Yes?” Then he noticed Keiran and Kare. “Oh, sorry.”
But before he was able to step down to the others Charn moved up the stone stairs toward him.
“What does that mean?”
“It’s Latin. It means: Terrible is this place!”
Charn rose up the eyelids.
“Well, Kehno is having a strange kind of humour!”
“I doubt Kehno was the one who gave the order to write this. I am not a specialist but to me it looks like these words are older than at least 100 years.”
“Okay. Creeeepyyy!”
“I knew that Kehno made a lot of money the last years but … That thing must have cost a fortune!” Hooves said quite impressed.
Keiran walked up to the stairs, the big Gryphon statues caught his attention. They were perfectly worked out, but they seemed a bit out of place. They looked like newly made. He gently stroke over one of the Gryphons beaks.
“Yeah. It all looks creepy and impressive the same time!” Ryusuke said.
Zareth raised his voice.
“What do you think. Will more people turn up? Or do you think we are the only ones?”
Kare looked at his watch.
“Well, it is almost 5 pm. I think Kehno will understand if we invade his house, I mean, it seems like it is going to rain soon.”
Everybody nodded. Kare took Keirans bag out of the trunk and handed it over to him, then he took his own case and locked the door.
“Let’s see what awaits us in there!”
Nadyhuin pressed the big lion faced doorknob. With a slight creak the big heavy wooden double door opened. An air of old books and furniture tickled their noses. The hall they stepped in was giant. The floor was made of quite expensive looking wood, perfectly polished. That perfectly that is looked almost like it was made of mirror. They were able to see themselves on the surface.
“Wow, luxury. Really!” Naydhuin remarked and looked up. The ceiling was covered in carved works. Almost everything was covered in carved works. Before them they saw a giant marble stair leading into the first floor, flanked by two gothic archways leading into hallways that never seems to end. Wainscoting on the walls everywhere, faces or landscapes carved in them. A giant chandelier in the middle of the hall, it’s arms crowned with strange gargoyle and other demonic- faces.
“Luxury? Well I don’t know. I think I will feel observed all day long in here.” Keiran said.
“Wow look at that!” Ryusuke shouted and rushed over to a room that opened up on the right to the big hall. That room wasn’t small either. And it was filled with a boards full of books. In the middle was a really old looking globe.
“That must be thousands of books” the excitement in Naydhuins voice was easy to notice.
“Ninethousandfourhundredtwentytwo in fact!”
All turned to the voice. There he was – the owner of this big mansion and host of this event - Kehno Kumbartha. The nearly end-30s lion was standing in all his pride at the top of the stairs. He was wearing a dark purple cloak that floated a bit when he quite dramatically stepped down to them.
“I know you like books, that room must be heaven to you Nay. And there are some in there almost as old as this nice house!” Kehno said, spreading his arm out in a presenting manner.
“I welcome you all to Kumbartha Manor.” he said in a quite theatrical voice, but everybody noticed the humorous undertone that also was typical for all his works. Keiran had to smile about it.
“Quite showing off huh?” Hooves said.
“I see nearly all arrived!” Kehno said.
“Oh, someone is missing?”
“Yes. Weston is missing. Maybe he will arrive later. I will welcome him as soon as he appears. Till then, I wish you to follow me!” He gestures the small group to follow him. Soon they find themselves in a wide and comfortable Saloon. They look at the giant Table in awe, and also on the meals on it. You sure can’t expect better meals in a 5-star hotel.
“Take a seat please!”
The meal was great and an hour later they gathered up in the music room. While Ryusuke took pleasure in testing the big black piano thought he didn’t get a real tune out of it. Hooves and Charn gave pitiful smiles. While it Keiran lit the fire in the chimney, tossing some logs into the open fire, however he felt a chill go down his spine. Naydhuin was the only one missing as he preferred to have a look through all the old books in the library. Just minutes later he appeared his arms full with old books.
“Hey there, found something?” the big lion asked.
“Yeah. The library is wonderful. So many old books. Incredible. How did you get all these old manuscripts? Some of them are hundred of years old?”
“Hehe. I knew you would like that. Well, sure I store a real fortune in there. I would tell you to be careful with those books but I know you know how to treat them.”

(to be contiued in commentary 1)


Mitglied seit
13 Jun 2010
Ghost Story part 2

Nay nodded and sat into the chair facing the chimney.
“Kehno, may I ask you what is it about this house. This strange slogan at the entrance!” Kare said.
“Precisely! This whole building is kind of creepy and impressing the same time.”
Kehno grinned. It seemed like he just have been waiting for those words.
“You want to know? Okay. I think this will be a nice lullaby for you.”
Ryusuke moves away from the piano and sat on the large couch opposite to Kehnos big chair. Everybody moved closer. Silence fell over the room, the only sound the spitting of the logs in the fireplace.
“Round about 180 years ago a rich guy from England emigrated to Canada and decided to build a homey manor. You don’t need to know the name but maybe what happened here since then. It is said that he was a strange kind of guy and he was also the one who planned this house. He wanted to build some kind of labyrinth. Why?” Kehno made some gestures no one could exactly read.
“I don’t know. Neither does anyone from the village. Maybe he just had the same strange love for gothic buildings like I do! However. The village people reported to me that he vanished some day. I personally believe that he maybe either lost his fortune and was to ashamed telling anyone and left over night. But even weeks and months later wanderer saw candlelight moving around behind the dead dark high and empty windows. For around 10 years it stand abandoned in the valley until some… Baxter Masters or so bought it. He had made a fortune at the East cost of the States. He moved into the house with his wife and daughter in 1838 or 1840. Everything seemed nice and cosy. At least for the next years. One night the good ol’ Baxter went insane, locked all the doors, blocked the windows and took the axe he used to chop wood and killed his wife. Police records tell that he must have hunted her through the house. Blood everywhere. He got her at the back door. After he finished his… work… Then he took a rope, stepped on a chair and jumped. “ He leaned over to Hooves. “Right there were you are sitting!”
Hooves jumped that fast up he almost fell over and panted. He stared in shock at Kehno who started to laugh.
“Sorry hehe. I didn’t expect you to be so jumpy!”
“Gaps. Damn that was evil!” Hooves shouted at Kehno but more in fear than in anger.
He sat down again and sighted.
“So he didn’t jump.. here?” Keiran asked.
“I didn’t said that!”
Hooves swallowed a lump of fright.
“So he?”
Hooves moved his chair a bit to the side.
“Hey what about their daughter?” Zareth asked.
“Yes. What about her?!” Kare urged.
Kehno took pleasure, he was happy he got their attention.
“She? Little Carolyn luckily survived her fathers outburst. She had climbed up the chimney and hid in a niche until some neighbours arrived and looked for the family. She refused to ever come closer than 10 miles to this house and barely showed to the public until she died of old age. However. During all those years till she died she denied everyone to enter the house. Around 1900, when Carolyn died, the council of Winnipeg inherited that big house. They sure had no real use for it. So they sold it – once again homey Spooky Hall changed hands.”
“And then?” Keiran asked from his seat all in the back.
They all locked at Kehno.
“What?” Nay asked in disbelieve.
“At least for a longer while. But mostly because the new owner didn’t spent a single night here. Forty years later a niece inherited the manor. And then it all started again. She was the one who installed all these griffins and Statues. She was a big Agatha Cristie fan and wanted to create an authentic atmosphere. And guess what?”
“She vanished too?” Zareth asked.
Kehno had got up and walked around in front of the fireplace while he kept talking.
“Precisely! Well, more or less. In 1960 an American Businessmen bought the house and renovated it. He dreamed about buying it cheap, rebuilding it and selling it expensive. But the old lady… She didn’t vanish. In fact she never left the house. When the workers cleaned up the chimney they made a quite terrifying discovery. They found her, well done, in the very same niche that little Carolyne Masters hid in around 100 years before.”
The lion walked over to the fireplace and looked up into the darkness of the chimney. He made a short pause to let the creep float the room and then returned to his willing audience.
“I think I don’t need to tell you that no one wanted to buy the house after that. So he moved into it himself with his family. It didn’t take another 12 months till something happened again. The businessmen’s young wife suffered a hard stroke. Police records read that she was staring all the time at the ceiling and it looked like she wanted to tell them something. However she never recovered from the stroke and died a few days later in hospital. The businessmen tried to deal with the pain of his loss but it seems he finally failed. Five days after his wife’s pass away he was found by the housekeeper. That man had moved all the furniture into the great hall and was about to set it and the house afire. The housekeeper phoned the police and the businessmen was brought to the asylum. It seemed like he had a nervous breakdown. After that the house was abandoned again, until I bought it two years ago.”
Everybody had fallen silent in the meantime and listened to Kehno.
“Well, that is a nice story… But why did you tell us?” Nay asked.
Kehno chuckled a bit.
“Because I like to scare you a bit. You all know I like stories like this!”
“If this house has such a historical background… why did you buy it?!”
Kehno grinned.
“Why not? Those foolish town people handed it over a fifth it’s worth. And I think such an atmosphere can be quite inspiring.”
“I would have bought it too!” the Gatorsnake said.
In the very moment Kehno’s mobile rang.
“Oh, I wonder who that might be?!”
While Kehno answered the mobile Keiran walked over to the young grey wolf.
“You seem to be quite into books!”
“Oh yeah. I love to suck up knowledge.”
“Seems like this must be heaven for you!”
“Almost, Keiran, almost!” The wolf smiled.
“What do you think about that .. ghouly story?”
Nay chuckled a bit.
“I think Kehno made it up all by himself. Sure this house is old and for sure someone died in this house. But for sure someone already died in the flat you and I live in. And we all know that Kehno likes to make up such stories. He can’t fool me!”
Keiran shrugged but Nay’s words not really eased his scared mind. Nay himself already focused on the book again. Kehno put the mobile back into his pocked with a sight.
“Who was it?!”
“Weston! It seems like he is having an appointment he can’t miss, he will arrive tomorrow morning!”
“Okay Kehno. Nice story and all but… Please tell us now why you invited us?” Hooves said with a slight stern voice.
The big lion snickered and sat into his seat again.
“I just want you to have some nice days here and enjoy yourselves. And we all enjoy some spooky little stories don’t we?”
The unicorn nodded and sat down. While it Kare and Zareth had found the gaming room and were having fun playing pool.
“Ha! At first attempt!” Kare said triumphantly as the billiard ball hit the hole.

(to be continued)....

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